Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
"Good job!"
Check out this thread about Praise & Elimination Communication on Mothering.com. It's something we have discussed a fair bit as a couple, not just regarding EC but all kinds of other skills and behaviors. I have read that one way we can teach our children patience, encourage intrinsic motivation, and strengthen productive risk-taking is to praise efforts and work rather than focus on results (the "good job" comments). I will post the reference to my reading when I find it in my stack; nevertheless, it makes a lot of sense to both of us, so we've begun to practice this kind of praise already just to get ourselves in the habit. When others see our girl use the potty and say, "Good potty!" I feel conflicted - grateful they are supportive, yet concerned about the angle on the praise. It will be interesting, as we go along, to figure out how and when to have the conversation about that particular activity and appropriate praise, since it seems like both the pottying and the process vs. product praise goes against most people's experience, including mine for the most part.
What do you think?
What do you think?
Downward Dog Nursing
Over the past few months, our baby has become a versatile nurser! I link to the definition of "versatile" because, in checking to see if I used the word appropriately, I found I had used just the right word! My goodness, this kid changes readily, turns with ease from one activity to another, and can move herself all over the place - up, down, laterally, flexibly.
Crawling to nurse
When she turned about 6 months, she could sit unaided quite well and learned to crawl distances. Normally, we read about how this new behavior changes babyproofing requirements and stimulates new interests. I hadn't considered how it might change our nursing experience. Suddenly, when she wanted to nurse, she could look over to me and move herself closer! It was only a few days before she could then crawl over and into my lap. Whereas before, of course she made her desire known with eye contact, reaching, or nuzzling, now she could also stop her own activity and come to me. When through, she could crawl away to resume play. What a difference! My own emotional reactions to the transition surprised me; I felt excited, amused, disoriented, relieved, and hesitant.
We nurse on demand, and our baby likes to eat and cuddle frequently. It has become like my own frequent habits - pulling hair from my face, washing hands, drinking water, adjusting my posture, nursing our baby. When we changed the rhythm and way we nursed, my mind needed to adjust.
Downward Dog Nursing
With her new skills and abilities in movement quickly came highly versatile positions for nursing! The first was the lap sit nurse. Oh man, this was great for me! She could come to me, sit upright with legs around my belly, and nurse upright - while I ate my own dinner! No one needed to wait to eat anymore. (Of course, now that she is interested in my food, this has gotten tricky at times...)
At about 6.5 months, she could pull herself up to standing, and you know what that meant for nursing.
With increased leg musculature and better balance, the crouch nursing session ensued. If I were sitting on the floor playing with her, she would crawl over, pull herself to a stand on me, then crouch to nurse for as long as she could. Hilarious!
Lying down, she has perfected the "downward dog nurse" as we call it. Starting in a side lie, she flips over to her belly (still nursing) and raises her hips high up ("helium pelvis", our yoga instructor used to call it) in a lovely pose. I laughed at myself when I realized I had checked to see if her heels were on the floor - something my legs have never flexed to do.
The changes we have made in nursing mirror the changes in our growth together. Don't you find that as transitions occur, we rarely mark the turning point in our minds? I look back and am not quite sure when I could think of something other than helping my infant to nurse during feeding, but at some point, oversupply diminished and we both got the process down pat, and I started reading books again. That was months ago. Now I've got an acrobatic nursling and am loving every day of our lives, wondering what the next transitions I'll look back upon will be.
Crawling to nurse
When she turned about 6 months, she could sit unaided quite well and learned to crawl distances. Normally, we read about how this new behavior changes babyproofing requirements and stimulates new interests. I hadn't considered how it might change our nursing experience. Suddenly, when she wanted to nurse, she could look over to me and move herself closer! It was only a few days before she could then crawl over and into my lap. Whereas before, of course she made her desire known with eye contact, reaching, or nuzzling, now she could also stop her own activity and come to me. When through, she could crawl away to resume play. What a difference! My own emotional reactions to the transition surprised me; I felt excited, amused, disoriented, relieved, and hesitant.
We nurse on demand, and our baby likes to eat and cuddle frequently. It has become like my own frequent habits - pulling hair from my face, washing hands, drinking water, adjusting my posture, nursing our baby. When we changed the rhythm and way we nursed, my mind needed to adjust.
Downward Dog Nursing
With her new skills and abilities in movement quickly came highly versatile positions for nursing! The first was the lap sit nurse. Oh man, this was great for me! She could come to me, sit upright with legs around my belly, and nurse upright - while I ate my own dinner! No one needed to wait to eat anymore. (Of course, now that she is interested in my food, this has gotten tricky at times...)
At about 6.5 months, she could pull herself up to standing, and you know what that meant for nursing.
With increased leg musculature and better balance, the crouch nursing session ensued. If I were sitting on the floor playing with her, she would crawl over, pull herself to a stand on me, then crouch to nurse for as long as she could. Hilarious!
Lying down, she has perfected the "downward dog nurse" as we call it. Starting in a side lie, she flips over to her belly (still nursing) and raises her hips high up ("helium pelvis", our yoga instructor used to call it) in a lovely pose. I laughed at myself when I realized I had checked to see if her heels were on the floor - something my legs have never flexed to do.
The changes we have made in nursing mirror the changes in our growth together. Don't you find that as transitions occur, we rarely mark the turning point in our minds? I look back and am not quite sure when I could think of something other than helping my infant to nurse during feeding, but at some point, oversupply diminished and we both got the process down pat, and I started reading books again. That was months ago. Now I've got an acrobatic nursling and am loving every day of our lives, wondering what the next transitions I'll look back upon will be.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Breastfeeding Article
Check out this article on breastfeeding and how the US medical system addresses it, from CNN:
http://www.cnn.com/2013/01/03/health/medical-breastfeeding/index.html?hpt=he_c2
http://www.cnn.com/2013/01/03/health/medical-breastfeeding/index.html?hpt=he_c2
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Happy New Year 2013!
We begin the New Year feeling blessed to be parents. Life is so different for us now in ways we could not have imagined, although we tried. Watching our daughter wake from the night or from a nap brings a smile or laughter to us every time; this is made even better by not having known that these moments were so full of sweetness and interest. Feeling her muscles grow as she wiggles, bears her weight on her little bowed legs, and reaches for interesting things around the house is both satisfying and entertaining! Hearing all the noises she's discovered she can make has been a trip in itself. She is so creative with her voice.
Check out the monthly updates; we update that page regularly to reflect on and share our learning. Feel free to post questions or comments for discussion on this page anytime.
Happy New Year!
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Correction! Nursing is a two-person job made even better with others!
Soon after posting my last note, I reflected on how much help my husband has been with the whole experience of breastfeeding. He looks up information in our many library books for answers to concerns or questions, assuaging our new parent worries. He keeps me company at all hours of the challenging feeding nights, smiling patiently through it and giving me breaks when she gets too worked up from the oversupply. In countless other loving ways, he has been as much a part of breastfeeding our girl as I have.
Also, the support and celebration of nursing that good friends, neighbors, and family have shared with us are gifts I carry with me long after the visits are over. Thank you! I know our daily work of nursing is helped by many.
Also, the support and celebration of nursing that good friends, neighbors, and family have shared with us are gifts I carry with me long after the visits are over. Thank you! I know our daily work of nursing is helped by many.
-- diaper free nursing and napping is so cute! --
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Nursing is a two-person job!
I'm taking a few minutes between our afternoon nursing session to type this note. It's the first post on nursing, and it's taken me a few days to consider what might be most valuable to post for new parents. Here it is:
Nursing is a two-person labor of love. Before experiencing it directly, I had unconsciously formed an idea of nursing as a simple act of offering the breast when the baby was hungry. Baby roots or otherwise cues (or cries, if mama's late in responding), mama offers the breast, and baby eats until she's full.
Well...sometimes that's accurate.
I have learned that nursing involves a learning curve that wobbles at times. Both of us needed to learn the most efficient techniques to latch, how to maneuver the baby's body without being overly clumsy or rough, and how to read signs that there are other needs happening concurrent with nursing! She might be tired *and* nursing. She might need to nurse and pee at the same time! She might want to keep nursing but have to burp. She might feel distracted but still hungry. And it's not all her conflicts, either. I might need to tend to the dogs, want to finish the paragraph I had been reading even as she's cueing me to pay more attention, or I might need to shift my body or grab a cloth that I didn't place close enough. Our best sessions in these early weeks are when I am fully focused or prepared to fully focus on her instead of multitask. (*note: I didn't realize I was so used to multitasking, so I hadn't anticipated the challenge of truly doing one thing well. this has been a very good personal lesson for me. thanks, baby!)
Also, before breastfeeding, I was not aware of the many potential physical complications. I knew that some women had trouble with things called, "let-down" and "latching" but I didn't really know what these were. I hadn't seen - and don't see - many women breastfeeding in my neighborhood or on the bus or in my town; this, in my view, is regrettable, if only for the lack of exposure and education it leaves for us, the new parents.
After the 2nd week or so, my baby found herself challenged by my early oversupply of milk. It meant that she choked on the milk, felt frustrated by the rate of flow and her inability to manage swallowing and breathing and sucking, and often tired out before she was able to really feed, and so gave up. Also, she seemed to react physically, her symptoms matching what we read about oversupply: rash, frothy poops, sometimes greenish poops (due to the amount of lactose she ingested before she could get to the fatty milk that had risen to my upper ducts). Needless to say, these responses to our nursing sessions provoked emotional strain as well practical worries. As the weeks passed, my milk supply and baby's ability to manage the milk seem to have evened out more, and I may avoid "true oversupply" which can last beyond the early stages. We have *both* worked hard to overcome this period. As I said, nursing is a two person job - and very much worth it!
As far as EC and nursing, there have been great lessons. When our baby is nursing, she might need to pee every 10 minutes. Heck, if she fusses 5 minutes after a pee, I'll hold her over the potty and she just might pee again! I don't take her off the breast to do it, but generally if she has to pee while nursing, she's taking herself off the breast in a frustrated manner and getting back on, and off, and on again, so I just remove her when she takes herself off and give it a try. 9 times out of 10, she just has to pee. Then she settles into nursing more peacefully (until she has to pee again, which might be in 5 minutes, or in 30. Up to her.). This was a great learning process in trusting your baby to tell you what she needs, because before I got wise, I just responding to her cues by thinking, "but she *just* went 10 minutes ago!" Then, she'd pee on me and go back to nursing with a relaxed face, and I would laugh at myself and think, "I should have listened to her!"
I love the dialogue, closeness, and complexity of nursing. It's a gift to both of us.
Nursing is a two-person labor of love. Before experiencing it directly, I had unconsciously formed an idea of nursing as a simple act of offering the breast when the baby was hungry. Baby roots or otherwise cues (or cries, if mama's late in responding), mama offers the breast, and baby eats until she's full.
Well...sometimes that's accurate.
I have learned that nursing involves a learning curve that wobbles at times. Both of us needed to learn the most efficient techniques to latch, how to maneuver the baby's body without being overly clumsy or rough, and how to read signs that there are other needs happening concurrent with nursing! She might be tired *and* nursing. She might need to nurse and pee at the same time! She might want to keep nursing but have to burp. She might feel distracted but still hungry. And it's not all her conflicts, either. I might need to tend to the dogs, want to finish the paragraph I had been reading even as she's cueing me to pay more attention, or I might need to shift my body or grab a cloth that I didn't place close enough. Our best sessions in these early weeks are when I am fully focused or prepared to fully focus on her instead of multitask. (*note: I didn't realize I was so used to multitasking, so I hadn't anticipated the challenge of truly doing one thing well. this has been a very good personal lesson for me. thanks, baby!)
Also, before breastfeeding, I was not aware of the many potential physical complications. I knew that some women had trouble with things called, "let-down" and "latching" but I didn't really know what these were. I hadn't seen - and don't see - many women breastfeeding in my neighborhood or on the bus or in my town; this, in my view, is regrettable, if only for the lack of exposure and education it leaves for us, the new parents.
After the 2nd week or so, my baby found herself challenged by my early oversupply of milk. It meant that she choked on the milk, felt frustrated by the rate of flow and her inability to manage swallowing and breathing and sucking, and often tired out before she was able to really feed, and so gave up. Also, she seemed to react physically, her symptoms matching what we read about oversupply: rash, frothy poops, sometimes greenish poops (due to the amount of lactose she ingested before she could get to the fatty milk that had risen to my upper ducts). Needless to say, these responses to our nursing sessions provoked emotional strain as well practical worries. As the weeks passed, my milk supply and baby's ability to manage the milk seem to have evened out more, and I may avoid "true oversupply" which can last beyond the early stages. We have *both* worked hard to overcome this period. As I said, nursing is a two person job - and very much worth it!
-- Here you can see an early nursing session while I hold her over her potty bowl --
I love the dialogue, closeness, and complexity of nursing. It's a gift to both of us.
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